


How It All Began

by Anxiouslykitty



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Break Up, Crying, Death, Depression, Drinking, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, F/M, Grief/Mourning, Heartbreak, Loss, Love, Marriage, Marriage Proposal, Sex, Wakes & Funerals
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-21
Updated: 2021-01-26
Packaged: 2021-03-11 02:47:21
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 7
Words: 16,125
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28217952
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Anxiouslykitty/pseuds/Anxiouslykitty
Summary: What happened to Minerva between when Voldemort was destroyed by infant Harry and when Harry started at Hogwarts.
Relationships: Minerva McGonagall/Elphinstone Urquart, Minerva McGonagall/Poppy Pomfrey
Comments: 3
Kudos: 23





	1. Chapter 1

November 1981

Halloween was always a busy night in Hogwarts. Students swept up in the pageantry of the feast and candy often found it difficult to stay out of trouble. Of course Peeves didn’t help either. He took the opportunity of celebration to ramp up his normal troublemaker persona. Often some of his best pranks and hijinks were performed on Halloween night. Which is why Professor Minerva McGonagall was doing her third round through the castle at one in the morning. 

Minerva still wore her emerald robes as she was not about to walk around patrolling for misbehaving students in her tartan bathrobe. However, her signature tight bun was a little loose and wisps of hair pushed out as a result of a few cat naps between rounds. As she came down the corridor towards the headmasters office the gargoyle came to life and opened allowing Hagrid to exit the staircase.

“Hagrid! What brings you up to the castle this time of night” Minerva asked as she closed the gap between herself and the half-giant.

Hagrid’s face was contorted and Minerva could see that something was wrong. At the sound of her voice Hagrid pulled himself to his full height and turned his face into as neutral an expression as he could.

“Professor McGonagall? Have you not heard” he asked trying to assess how much Minerva knew.

Minerva had a sinking feeling in her stomach. “Heard what” she asked sternly no allowing any emotions to show on her face.

“People are saying that You-Know-Who is gone. He has been defeated.

Minerva couldn’t believe what she was hearing. It wasn’t possible! Surely if he had been defeated it would have to have been Dumbledore who did it. Surely if Dumbledore had plans to confront You-Know-Who he would have told her.

“That can’t be true,” she said exasperated.

Hagrid could see that McGonagall was not going to be convinced by him. He wasn’t even sure he was convinced by Dumbledore. How could anyone really know for certain? He didn’t have time to stand there and try to convince her of what was going on, he had important things to do for Dumbledore and explicit instructions not to tell anybody what he was doing.

“I’ve got ta go, professor. I’m sorry” Hagrid explained as he began to walk away.

“I’ll talk to Dumbledore about this. I don’t see how it could be possible” Minerva announced as she strode towards the gargoyle. 

Hagrid stopped and turned back to McGonagall. “He’s gone,” he explained. “I’m to meet him in Little Whinging at midnight tonight”

“Little Whinging” Minerva questioned.

“4 Privet Drive” Hagrid announced before realizing he probably wasn’t supposed to be telling her this. “I’ve really got to go,” he said, striding away as fast as possible to not allow McGonagall to stop him again.

Minerva couldn’t understand what was happening. None of it made sense. How many years had they been fighting You-Know-Who’s rise to power. Fighting to keep the wizarding world safe from his evil. FIghting to protect the students from the war happening outside the walls of Hogwarts. Could it all really be over? 

She abandoned her task of doing rounds and headed for the Hospital Wing. Poppy was there with several students who had been a little too enthusiastic about the feast and were now fighting very upset stomachs. Minerva knew she needed to see Poppy before she did anything else. 

As she entered the quiet Hospital Wing she looked through the dim room to see if Poppy was moving around. She normally set some sort of spell to alert her of movement if she had gone to bed. Minerva saw her shadow against the illuminated curtain of the farthest bed in the ward. She walked quietly back in an effort to not wake whatever students might be sleeping.

Poppy heard her footsteps coming and came out from behind the curtain putting the light out as she did. She knew it was Minerva so she didn’t need any light as she closed the gap between them. In the moonlight coming in from the windows she saw the look on Minerva’s face and knew something was wrong. Without letting her say anything she grabbed Minerva’s arm and steered her into her office and closed the door.

Turning so that they were face to face Poppy placed a hand gently on Minerva’s cheek. “What’s wrong? Has something happened” she asked softly.

The feeling of Poppy’s hand on her cheek made Minerva’s brain calm and her breath slow down. She never felt safer than when she was with Poppy and now was no exception. 

“Hagrid says You-Know-Who is gone” she almost whispered. The words didn’t sound right coming out of her mouth, not until she knew it was true.

“How?” was all Poppy could think to say.

Minerva just shook her head. The thoughts were speeding up again. To many things going through her brain. Too many scenarios to fully play them all out. Something shot to the front of her mind. If You-Know-Who was really gone who must have died to make it happen.  
Poppy watched as trouble brewed behind Minerva’s eyes. She gently pulled her into a hug and held her while rubbing a small circle on Minerva’s back. Minerva let herself be held. She let Poppy take some of her weight as the thoughts overpowered her for a minute. It was all too much she could feel herself starting to slip into the dark thoughts of what ifs. With a deep breath she pulled away and gave Poppy an unconvincing half smile.

“I have to go do something off grounds,” Minerva said plainly.

Poppy knew better than to ask what. Minerva would have said if she wanted Poppy to know. She had learned that many years ago. If Minerva was not telling her something about where she was going or what she was doing, especially off grounds, it was probably for good reason. She almost always filled her in when everything was said and done. Poppy knew it was all for her own safety so that she could stay out of the fray so to speak.

Poppy put her hands on either side of Minerva’s face and gave her a deep kiss before pulling away. “Be safe” she said looking deep into Minerva’s eyes.

“I will!” With that Minerva turned and left the office. She knew that if she stayed any longer she wouldn’t want to leave at all. She would want to hide with Poppy from everything going on in the war. She knew though that she needed to see what exactly was at this 4 Privet Drive that was so important to Dumbledore and she was going to be there for whatever meeting he and Hagrid were going to have. 

\-------------------------------------

It had taken Minerva longer than she had expected to get out of the castle after leaving Poppy. She had to go to the private chambers to allow her mind time to regroup before leaving the grounds. So as she strode down the path to the gates of Hogwarts the sun was just starting to lighten the sky. When she passed through the gates she apparated with a faint pop that frightened the still sleeping birds.

She apparated to Little Whinging and pulled out the map she had brought along. She had teased Albus when he had given her the map a couple of years ago but now she was glad to have it. She transformed into her animagus form and took off in search of 4 Privet Drive. It took her an hour or two to find the street. It didn’t look any different from any other muggle street she had ever been to so she summoned the map once more to confirm she was in the right place and looked up to read the street sign. This was the correct Privet Drive. She sauntered off in search of house number 4. It didn’t take long to find and she positioned herself on the wall outside of the house. 

Throughout the day owls filled the sky and several dropped letters next to her in the grass. She couldn’t help but feel irritation with everyone for being so careless with their owls. There was no proof yet that You-Know-Who was really gone. Even if he was, why were so many people risking Muggles figuring out something is going on by being so careless. On her way to Privet Drive she had seen several witches and wizards in robes walking the suburb streets in gleeful spirits. People were certainly not thinking straight.

As the letters were dropped to her she would paw them open and read them discreetly in the bushes before hopping back up to her position on the wall. Each letter read more disconcerting than the last. The last letter she read was one from Remus Lupin.

_Professor McGonagall,_

_People are saying that James and Lily are dead. That they died defeating You-Know-Who. Please tell me this isn’t true!_

_Remus Lupin_

She almost transformed back into her human form after reading those words. She almost left and went back to the castle to avoid knowing anything more than that. She knew Remus would never owl her with information like this unless he was relatively sure it was true. He only ever sought her comfort and protection from things he knew she had no real control over. 

The three letters that were dropped after that disappeared into her pocket without being opened. She did not want confirmation that James and Lily were dead. She didn’t want to know that, if they were dead, so too probably was their son. She didn’t want to hear any of these things from anyone other than Albus. So she sat as stiff as a stone for the rest of the day. Leaving the wall only in the evening to listen to the reports on the Muggle news about the strange owl sightings and falling stars. As night fell she was stiff as stone on the wall waiting for Albus to arrive. Waiting to hear from him what was true and what was not. For he would never lie to her about this and only from him could all of this be true.

\--------------------------------

As she walked away from Privet Drive at nearly one o’clock Wednesday morning she couldn’t tell what she was feeling. She went a few blocks before she ducked into a dark alley and transformed back into her human form. She leaned against the wall to control her breathing before apparating outside the gates of Hogwarts.

The smell of the trees in the cold grounded Minerva. She was home and she knew she was just a short walk away from her bed. She had been awake for two straight days and the tiredness was beginning to set it. She lifted a weary hand to the gate and with the lightest touch the gate swung open to her magic. She trudged up the path to the castle and again placed her hand gently on the front door which swung open for her. She stopped inside the door and leaned back against it. 

She had a choice to make. Go to be alone in her chambers or go to Poppy’s chambers and sneak into bed with her. She glanced at the large clock that hung in the entrance hall. It was two thirty in the morning. The castle was asleep and so too was Poppy. Minerva was startled as she was overcome by a large yawn as the exhaustion began to set in. With that she made the decision, she didn’t want to be alone.

She snuck into the Hospital Wing quickly knowing that she would set off Poppy's alarm by moving around. She wanted to get to her before she was able to get too far out of her chambers so as to not disturb her anymore than she had to. She swiftly headed for the office and was just reaching for the handle to Poppy’s private quarters when the door swung open revealing a very tired Poppy in her nightgown and hairnet. 

Poppy was startled at first to see someone standing in her office, but she instantly recognized it was Minerva and relaxed. Then she took stock of the dark circles under her eyes and they way her body trembled almost imperceptibly. “Oh Minerva,” she said, wrapping the other woman in her arms. Minerva let herself be held as Poppy guided her back into her chambers.

Once inside Poppy with an arm around Minerva’s waist guided her to the bed and sat her on the edge. She pulled a nightgown out of the drawer where Minerva kept a few things for nights like this. When she turned to hand it to Minerva she could see that she was in no state to change herself so she set the nightgown on the bed and slowly began to help Minerva undress.

Minerva was like a small child obeying Poppy’s every unspoken command. She let Poppy unfasten her emerald robes and stood to allow her to remove them completely. The room was cold in just the light dress she wore underneath. Poppy bent down and grabbed the hem of Minerva’s dress and crumpled the fabric in her hands as she pulled it up towards Minerva’s head. Minerva lifted her arms obediently and then lowered them again. Poppy took the pins from Minerva’s hair letting the long black curtain fall around Minerva. Poppy unhooked and removed Minerva’s bra leaving her standing in only her underwear. Poppy slipped the nightgown on the compliant Minerva before pulling back the sheets and laying her down in bed.

While Poppy moved around the room tidying away the clothes she had just removed Minerva wiggled in the bed to get comfortable. She felt numb and tired and sore. So much had happened in such a short period of time she didn’t feel like she could handle it all. She was pulled from her thoughts as Poppy slipped under the covers on the other side of the bed and came to lay face to face with her. She could smell the scent of honey and knew that Poppy must have taken a bath before she had gone to bed. She looked into Poppy’s eyes and she felt safe.

“Do you want to talk about it” Poppy asked calmly. She knew only the rumors that were flying around. Like with so many other things to do with the war Poppy was waiting to hear the information from Minerva before she knew it was true.

Minerva sniffled quietly. “It’s true. Dumbledore says You-Know-Who is gone” she said.

“So the celebrations are called for then” Poppy replied hesitantly. “It’s over. The war is over.” She could see by Minerva’s appearance that this was not all. She steeled herself for what would come next.

“He killed James and Lily Potter,” Minerva whispered. “He tried to kill their son, Harry, and that was what defeated him.”

Suddenly it all made sense to Poppy. Minerva’s appearance, her vacant pain filled stare. James had been a special student of her’s while he was in school and after when he joined the Order of Phoenix with Dumbledore. Although not an official member Minerva did a lot for the order and had grown close to James and Lily during the fight against You-Know-Who. 

“Oh, darling!” was all Poppy had to say before she began to feel Minerva shake. It was slow at first and then became more violent. There was no sound coming from Minerva but Poppy knew she was crying. She pulled her to her chest and Minerva clutched Poppy’s nightgown with one hand as she let out a sob. She cried like that for a long time as Poppy slowly ran her hand through Minerva’s hair. After a while the crying slowed and eventually Poppy felt Minerva’s breathing become calm and peaceful. She was asleep. Poppy wiped her own tears off her face before kissing that back of Minerva’s head. There was more to the story, she knew that, but now was not the time. She closed her eyes and joined Minerva in sleep.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The morning after...

November 1981

Poppy’s wand buzzed on the table next to her bed and without josling Minerva she tapped it lightly. Someone was in the Hospital Wing moving around. The sun was out and it lit up the room. Poppy slipped out from underneath Minerva’s sleeping form and grabbed her dressing gown from the chair. As she put it on there was a gentle knock at her door. This was obviously a staff member as no student would dare come into her office let alone knock on her chamber doors. She opened the door to reveal Albus Dumbledore.

“Good Morning Poppy” Albus said quietly.

Poppy knew he wasn’t there to see her. In all her years of being at Hogwarts Albus had never visited her chambers unless he was there for or because of Minerva. 

“Please Albus, she’s still sleeping” Poppy pleaded. 

Albus’ eyes dropped to the ground momentarily before locking with Poppy’s. She could see that whatever he needed to tell Minerva was going to cause more pain and she could see he knew that. Reluctantly she stepped aside and allowed him into the small sitting room that was the conduit between her office and her bedroom. He quietly walked in making sure not to make contact with her.

“Poppy, it’s best if I tell her everything now. She’ll find out eventually and it’s better if I tell her before she hears it from someone else” Albus explained calmly.

Minerva woke in the bedroom to the sound of voices. As she stirred she recognized the voices of Poppy and Albus. She listened for a minute before standing and grabbing her tartan robe from the back of the bathroom door. She quietly padded toward the sitting room and stopped in the doorway.

“Minerva, I’m sorry to wake you,” Albus said sympathetically. 

Poppy wouldn’t look her in the eyes and Minerva knew that whatever Albus had come for was only more bad news. Poppy only ever looked like this when she couldn’t stop Minerva from feeling pain. Minerva walked over to Poppy who put her arm around Minerva’s waist.

Albus squared his shoulders and put on his best stoic face before beginning.

“As you know Minerva, Sirius Black was the Potter’s Secret Keeper. It appears he gave them up to Voldemort.” Poppy and Minerva flinched at the use of his name. And Albus pretended not to notice. Now was not the time for that lecture.

“Peter Pettigrew went after him and Sirius killed him and many others who were in the street with them. He’s been arrested and is being taken to Azkaban.” Albus got it all out in one swift blow because he knew Minerva would have questions. He wanted her to know everything up front before she began to question it.

Minerva’s face remained steely but her body became heavy. She tried to keep her knees straight and her mind calm but she couldn’t. Poppy took most of her weight without a word and tried to guide her to a chair but Minerva wouldn’t budge. In an instant Minerva’s strict professor persona took over and she turned on Albus.

“That’s not possible,” she almost yelled. “Hagrid said he borrowed Sirius’ motorcycle last night. How could he have done that if Sirius had done what you say he did?”

“Hagrid said that Sirius showed up at James and Lily’s house when he went to retrieve Harry for me. Sirius wanted to take Harry because he was his godfather and thankfully Hagrid didn’t let him. Sirius gave Hagrid the motorcycle because he said he wouldn’t need it anymore” Albus explained maintaining a painfully calm voice.

“How can we be certain it was Sirius who did it? Are you certain he was their Secret Keeper” Minerva snipped back.

Albus took a step toward Minerva but she pulled back. She was not ready to be comforted. “You were there when James told me he was convinced that Sirius was the right choice. I even offered myself instead and he refused.”

“What if they changed their minds” Minerva stammered. “He couldn’t have turned on them. He couldn’t have killed Pettigrew.” 

Her resolve was fading faster than she could cling to it. She didn’t want to let herself cry in front of Albus. They had known eachother since she was in school but something about breaking down in front of Albus again felt wrong. She wanted him to think of her as strong even though he had seen her break before. She wanted to save that part of herself for Poppy alone. She didn’t want anyone else to see how much pain she felt and how near the surface it always was. 

“The officers were there when he blew Pettigrew up. All that was left was his finger” Albus explained. “Minerva, he just stood there and laughed as they arrested him.”

Minerva turned away and walked shakily back into the bedroom leaving Albus and Poppy looking after her. Albus moved to follow and Poppy reached out and grabbed his arm.

“She doesn’t like people to see her pain” Poppy explained comfortingly. “Not even you Albus.”

Albus turned and left without another word and Poppy shut the door behind him. She locked it and went to the bedroom. Minerva was leaning against one of the posts of the four poster bed. She was completely still and Poppy gently walked up behind her and placed a hand on Minerva’s back. She stiffened at the contact but Poppy didn’t remove her hand.

“Minerva” Poppy whispered. 

Minerva suddenly pulled away and swiped at the chair in front of the dressing table throwing it to the ground. She screamed in anger and began grabbing anything in her path and throwing it throughout the room. Poppy stood back for a minute shocked at the amount of anger and hurt that radiated off of Minerva. She slowly walked towards Minerva. She dodged a couple of pillows and Minerva’s robes as they were thrown. Finally she wrapped her arm slightly around Minerva and pulled her to her body. Minerva fought for a minute trying to pull away, but she didn’t have any fight left in her. She grabbed onto Poppy like she was the only thing that was keeping her up. 

“Shh Shh” Poppy comforted holding Minerva as tight as she could. When she could feel Minerva starting to slip to the ground she pulled her to the bed and sat down with her. Minerva laid down on her side and pulled her knees as tight to herself as she could wrapping her arms around herself. Her breath was ragged and her eyes looked at nothing. Poppy crawled around the trembling woman and spooned herself behind her. She wrapped her arms tightly around Minerva again and held her. 

They stayed like this for almost two hours as Minerva cried periodically. Mostly though she just stared at nothing. Poppy had seen her grieve before, she knew how deeply Minerva felt every loss. Not many people got to see what was behind the stoic woman that was known as the Deputy Headmistress of Hogwarts. Not many people knew the pain that Minerva lived with, the lives she had seen taken in the wars she had been involved in. Poppy knew that these losses would hit harder than others had and so she stayed and held Minerva without complaint.

Poppy eventually pulled away from Minerva and got up. She snapped her fingers summoning a house elf from the kitchens. 

“Yes Madam! How can Sarrey be of service” the small elf asked.

“Tea please Sarrey and some breakfast” Poppy asked quietly. 

Sarrey popped away and Poppy began to pick items up off the ground that Minerva had thrown. “Reparro'' she announced pointing her wand at a broken lamp on the ground which shot back together. She placed it back on the dressing table and continued to tidy. When the small pop of Sarrey returning came she turned and righted and overturned side table to allow Sarrey to set the large tray she was carrying down.

“Thank you Sarrey” Poppy said and the small elf popped away again.

As Poppy bent to pick up Minerva’s robes several letters fell out of one of the pockets. She picked them up and hung Minerva’s robes back on the door to the cabinet. She turned to look at Minerva who had still not moved from her spot on the bed curled in the fetal position. Poppy sat on the edge of the bed and gently brushed some of Minerva’s hair out of her face. 

“Come on dear, why don’t you sit up” Poppy encouraged as she patted Minerva’s hip.

Minerva reluctantly unwrapped her arms from her body and with great effort pushed herself into a seated position leaning against the headboard. Her eyes were red and puffy and her body ached. Poppy handed her her glasses and she slipped them on her face. She allowed Poppy to conjure up a lap tray and set a cup of tea and some breakfast on it for her. She wasn’t sure she was hungry but she knew Poppy wouldn’t let her do anything until she ate. So reluctantly she began to pick at the pastry lying before her. 

Contented that Minerva was at least making an effort to eat, Poppy returned her attention to the letters that had fallen from Minerva’s robes. 

“What are all these letters that fell out of your robes” she asked calmly.

“You can read them out if you’d like” Minerva replied plainly.

Poppy opened the first letter and began reading aloud. The first three were ones Minerva had read yesterday from different people loosely associated with The Order of Phoenix. She listened passively as Poppy read them. Next Poppy read the one from Remus Lupin again. Minerva’s eyes misted over and she blinked furiously to keep herself from starting to cry again. Instead she put a large piece of pastry in her mouth and focused on chewing. Poppy looked up at the end of the letter and seeing the unshed tears in Minerva’s eyes she set the letter to the side and opened the next one. The last three letters were ones she had not read yesterday. Poppy read them out and each one had been filled with much the same. Asking Minerva for information on what was true and what was not. Poppy put all the letters on the side table and picked Remus’ letter back up.

“I think you should respond to Remus’ letter” Poppy’s voice said with a bit of a quiver.

Minerva looked up at the sound of emotion in Poppy’s voice. Poppy had known the boys when they were at school also. Where Minerva was particularly fond of James and Sirius Poppy was fond of Remus. With much regret neither had ever had much patience for little Mr. Pettigrew. Minerva reached out and grabbed Poppy’s hand that held the letter.

“I will” was all Minerva could say.

\---------------------------------------

When they had finished eating Poppy had the tray taken away by Sarrey and excused herself to the bathroom to bathe and get dressed for the day. Before she left the room she set parchment, a quill, and ink on the lap tray in front of Minerva.

Minerva read Remus’ letter again and then began her reply.

_Mr. Lupin_

_I am sorry to say that the rumors are true James and Lily Potter are dead. You-Know-Who killed them in an attempt to kill their son Harry. Trying to kill Harry appears to be what was You-Know-Who’s downfall. Harry has been put somewhere safe. The only sign of what he has been through is a small lightning bolt shaped scar on his forehead._

_I have more bad news I am not sure you have heard. It appears that Sirius is the one who betrayed James and Lily to You-Know-Who. He was their Secret Keeper and must have been the one to tell You-Know-Who where they were in Godric’s Hollow. Yesterday Peter Pettigrew tried to confront him and Sirius killed him. All that is left of the poor boy is one finger. Sirius has been taken to Azkaban._

_I am sorry to have to be the one to tell you any of this. Please know that you are always welcome at Hogwarts if you need anything. I am always here to help if you need me._

_Yours Sincerely,_  
_Minerva McGonagall_

She folded the letter up and sealed it. She rested her head back against the headboard and closed her eyes. Poppy came out of the bathroom washed and dressed and walked over to Minerva. She gently wiped the tears from Minerva’s cheeks and kissed her on the lips. Minerva opened her eyes and smiled a half smile. 

“I’ll take this to the owlery for you,” Poppy offered. “You should try and shower and get dressed.”

With that she turned and left her chambers and Minerva got up and trudged to the bathroom.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Grief is a hard thing to understand.

November 1981

Minerva sat curled up on Poppy’s bed when an owl tapped against the window. Minerva looked around to see if Poppy would come to get it, but she couldn't hear her in the other room. She threw back the covers with great effort and trudged to the window to allow the owl into the room. A beautiful gray owl flew in and landed on the footboard of the bed. Minerva walked over and detached the parchment from the owls leg.

“Go up to the owlery and get a drink,” Minerva instructed the bird. The owl flew back out the window and Minerva crawled back into bed.

She pulled the covers back up to cover herself and looked at the parchment. She’d received quite a few letters in the past three days. She was tired of having to be the strong person that everyone expected her to be. Slowly she opened the parchment and immediately she recognized the writing. She’d seen it on essays for seven years and many letters since then.

_Professor McGonagall,_

_I’m at a loss for what to do. In one moment I’ve lost my whole family. People have tried to reach out and ask about everything that happened. I don’t know what to tell them. How do I explain that I never saw it coming that one of my best friends would be directly responsible for the death of our friends._

_You’ve always known what to do and say. I’m not sure what I should do and I’m asking for your help._

_Albus says the Order is putting together a funeral for James and Lily. I hope to see you there._

_Remus Lupin_

Minerva laid down and curled up letting the letter fall onto the ground. She closed her eyes and let herself fall asleep.

\-------------------------------------------

Poppy handed a potion to the student who had come in for a stuffy nose. Her mind was only half there. She was worried about Minerva. She hadn’t left Poppy’s chambers since she had arrived back after finding out that James and Lily were dead. Poppy hadn’t even really seen Minerva leave the bed. Poppy told the student she could go back to her dorm and watched her leave.

An owl tapped on one of the Hospital Wing windows and Poppy walked over to open it.

“Oh no you don’t” Poppy said to the bird stopping it from flying inside. “You sit on this ledge and then go up to the owlery. I can’t have you in here.”

The owl was irritated but it obliged landing on the ledge and allowed Poppy to remove the parchment before it flew away. Poppy closed the window and quickly opened the parchment.

_Madam Pomfrey,_

_Thank You for your letter. Of all that I have received yours means the most to me. I appreciate your concern. I do find myself at a loss for what to do or how to feel._

_Will you be attending the funeral for James and Lily? I’ve written to Professor McGonagall to see if she is coming. I desperately wish to see both of you,_

_Remus Lupin_

Poppy raised the parchment to her chest and pressed it to her heart. She always had a special place in her heart for Remus. He had gone through so much in his young life. It was she who had to walk him out to that horrible tree each month to transform. Each time she left him got harder. She always worried about what would happen if someone found out about him. She had hoped at some point his life would get easier, but then he joined the Order and now everyone he cared for was dead.

She walked back to her chambers and opened the door to her bedroom. She looked in and saw Minerva curled up sound asleep. Even in sleep Minerva’s face held the pain and sadness she felt. Poppy walked over and crawled up onto the bed next to Minerva, careful not to wake her. She felt something crinkle under her and she pulled a piece of parchment out. It was a letter from Remus. She sighed and put her letter and Minerva’s on the side table before curling up facing Minerva.

Up close Poppy could see just how much pain Minerva was in. Her brows were slightly furrowed and her lips were pressed together tightly. She had obviously been crying again because her face was puffier and rosier than normal. Poppy gently kissed her forehead and then both her cheeks. She put her forehead to Minerva’s and let herself drift to sleep on the sound of Minerva’s breathing. 

\---------------------------------------

“When do you want to leave for the funeral” Poppy asked as she pulled her light dress over her head letting it fall gracefully over her body.

Minerva sat on the edge of the bed still in her nightgown. The funeral started at 2pm which meant they had three hours before they needed to be in Godric’s Hollow. Poppy was planning on Flooing to the home of someone she knew in Godric’s Hollow so that they wouldn’t have to worry about apparating or a portkey. Minerva had refused to talk about the funeral or how they were going to get to and from. It had all been left up to Poppy to figure things out.

“I’m going with Albus,” Minerva said quietly.

Poppy turned around and looked at Minerva in shock. She had never thought that Minerva wouldn’t go with her to the funeral. She hadn’t left Poppy’s chambers since James and Lily had died. Poppy had just assumed they would go together.

“What are you talking about” Poppy asked.

“I’m going with Albus to the funeral,” Minerva said sternly standing up and walking towards the bathroom.

“Why aren’t we going together” Poppy asked.

Minerva turned back to Poppy with a confused look on her face.

“You know we can’t go out in public together” Minerva said before entering the bathroom and closing the door behind her.

Poppy sat down on the edge of the bed. She bit her lip to stop it from quivering and held her breath trying not to cry. She knew Minerva didn’t mean to hurt her, but still Poppy couldn’t help but feel hurt. Only a handful of people knew that she and Minerva were in a relationship. Minerva had been adamant about it to protect Poppy from anyone who would wish to harm her as a way of getting to Minerva during the war. Now Poppy couldn’t see why she couldn’t be there for the woman she loved on what was going to be a difficult day. Why did they still have to hide?

\------------------------------------

Poppy walked into the graveyard that was already pretty full of people. She could see many members of the Order, some she knew and some she knew only by face. There were several students from the time that James and Lily were in school. Some of the other staff from the school had come and were standing together. On the outskirts of the group Poppy saw Remus Lupin and walked over to him. 

“Remus” Poppy said gently putting her hand on his arm.

Remus turned and looked at Poppy. His face was full of sadness and pain. Her heart began to ache for him and she wanted to pull him to herself so she could comfort him.

“Madam Pomfrey, I’m glad to see you,” Remus said quietly.

“How are you” Poppy asked.

Remus looked back towards the large group that were standing around the two caskets. The sun glinted off of Lily’s red hair. Poppy looked across the group seeing Minerva standing near Albus. She gripped her hand a little tighter on Remus’ arm before looking back at him again. 

“I’m...I’m…” Remus stuttered.

Poppy reached up and quickly pulled Remus into a hug. She could feel him tense at first before he allowed himself to fall into her lightly. He grabbed the back of her robes and she rubbed her hand along his back gently.

“Oh Remus, I’m so sorry” Poppy cooed. “I hope you know I am always here for you.”

Poppy kept her grip on Remus until she felt his grip loosen on the back of her robes. When she felt him start to pull back she let him go from their embrace. She gave him a weak smile and looked at him until he looked into her eyes.

“I’ve known you since you were just a young boy. You can always come to me...with anything” Poppy emphasized. 

The sound of someone clearing their throat rang out drawing the attention of the group. Poppy turned and walked closer to the group leaving Remus to stand on the outskirts. She knew he didn’t want to be in the group where people could see and talk to him so easily. She was sure he intended to slip away right when it was over. She looked over at Minerva and longed to be supporting her.

\---------------------------------------------

The service was long and it began to drizzle. Someone cast a protection spell which caused the rain to divert away from the crowd like a large umbrella. Many people chose to say things about James and Lily and that contributed to the length. When it was over people began to mill around and talk to others they knew in the crowd. When Poppy looked back Remus was gone as she suspected.

Poppy watched Minerva intently. She had seen Minerva’s knees buckle when they had lowered the bodies into the ground. It had been Albus who kept her standing until she could do so on her own again. Now Minerva stood next to Albus as people came to talk to him. Minerva didn’t talk to any of them, she didn’t even really move, she just stood like a statue. 

Suddenly Molly Weasley approached Minerva and wrapped her arms around her in a hug. Poppy cringed watching it happen from a little ways away. She knew that Minerva was probably barely controlling her desire to cry and she had a soft spot for Molly. Sure enough when Molly pulled away Minerva began to shake. Poppy could only see Molly’s face contort into a look of extreme concern. She took a step towards Minerva before Albus turned and wrapped an arm around Minerva’s shoulder and turned her away from the group. They left the graveyard without another word leaving a very perplexed group of people who had been near them.

Molly came up to Poppy who was standing by herself looking at where Albus and Minerva had disappeared. 

“Oh Madam Pomfrey” Molly squeaked. “I didn’t expect to see you here.”

Poppy looked down and smiled gently at Molly. Molly had been a quiet student when she had been at Hogwarts. She’d not been one to come into the Hospital Wing often. Though once Molly’s brother’s Gideon and Fabian joined the Order Minerva brought home stories of seeing Molly and her growing family. Molly’s husband Arthur worked for the Ministry and was not an official member of the Order but provided assistance through Molly’s brothers. Both her brother’s had been killed together earlier this year.

“Molly, it’s good to see you,” Poppy said cordially. “How are the children?”

Molly had seven children. Her seventh, her only daughter, had been born barely three months ago. 

“Oh they’re all good thank you” Molly answered briskly. “I just saw Minerva, she was quite upset.”

Poppy looked away and to her horror tears began running down her face. She swiped at them furiously.

“I really ought to be getting back to Hogwarts” Poppy said quickly. “It was nice seeing you again Molly.”

Poppy turned and quickly left the graveyard. She continued to swipe away the tears that fell down her cheeks as she walked quickly back to her friend's house to Floo back to the castle. She wasn’t entirely sure why she was crying. She just knew her heart hurt at the pain that Minerva was experiencing and the pain that not being able to openly support Minerva was causing her. All she wanted was to be back at the castle and be alone for a little while.

\-----------------------------------------

Instead of Flooing to her chambers Poppy took the Floo network to The Three Broomsticks. When she exited the fireplace she gave a quick nod to Rosmerta before leaving the bar and walking towards the castle grounds. She wasn’t sure where Minerva would be and she needed some time to herself to think. Once on the grounds she walked to the lake and sat down at the edge. It was cold and damp and she shivered as she watched birds swoop down over the lake. It felt good to be cold. It was something real she could focus on something she could fix if she wanted to. 

She wasn’t sure how long she had been sitting there when she heard the sound of footsteps on the pebbles coming towards her. She didn’t turn around; she could tell that it was Albus by how quietly he walked. He was the only person other than herself who could walk that quietly.

“This is appropriate weather for a day such as this” Albus announced breaking the silence.

Poppy said nothing, she didn’t even look up at him. She waited to see what Albus wanted before she engaged him.

“May I join you” Albus said, gesturing at the ground next to Poppy.

“It’s damp,” Poppy replied.

Albus settled himself down a foot from Poppy and looked out over the lake mimicking her actions.

“Minerva is grieving,” Albus began. “You mustn't hold it against her.”

“There’s always going to be a reason Albus” Poppy replied quietly.

“You must give her time” Albus replied back.

“How much time” Poppy asked. “How much of my time must I live unhappily for her before she gives me her time in return? At some point she has to be the one to sacrifice for us.”

“Hasn’t she already sacrificed so much” Albus asked gently.

“In some ways yes, but never for my happiness. Whereas I have sacrificed everything for her happiness” Poppy said getting to her feet. She turned to walk back into the castle.

“She’s in your chambers” Albus said, never looking away from the lake.

Poppy continued up to the castle. Once inside she followed her normal route to the Hospital Wing. Safe in her Hospital Wing she took a deep breath. She went to one of the cleaning sinks and splashed her face with water. She dried it and looked in the mirror. You couldn’t tell she’d been crying. She walked through her office and into her chambers.

She found Minerva curled up on top of the bed still in her cloak and shoes. Poppy quietly walked up and removed Minerva’s shoes and set them next to the bed. She then took off her own shoes and cloak and robes leaving her in just her simple dress. She went to Minerva’s side and saw that she was awake but unmoving. She slowly unbuttoned Minerva’s cloak and pulled it off by shifting Minerva back and forth. She then undid the buttons of her robes pulling Minerva to a seated position to get them off her arms. Laying Minerva back down she pulled the robes out from underneath her. Minerva was now in a simple dress much like Poppy’s and she began to shiver. 

Poppy hung the cloaks and robes and lit a fire in the fireplace. She climbed onto the bed next to Minerva and pulled the blanket from the bed up over both of them. She spooned up against Minerva’s back resting her chin on Minerva’s shoulder. She wrapped an arm around Minerva’s waist and pulled her close. Minerva relaxed into Poppy’s body and they both slowly went to sleep.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Poppy stands up for what she needs.

February 1982

Minerva was reading a new book on Transfiguration curled up in her favorite chair when she heard a gentle knock on her chamber door. It was late so she was relatively sure it wasn’t a student and the knock was too quiet for it to be an emergency. She laid her book on the table next to the chair and got up to answer it. She tightened her tartan robe as she opened the door. Poppy was standing on the other side of the door with a look of sadness on her face.

Poppy never knocked on Minerva’s door. They had both gotten to the point where they felt comfortable walking or Flooing into each other's chambers. The fact that Poppy had knocked on the door gripped at her heart. She moved to let Poppy in and she walked in without saying anything.

Minerva closed the door and returned to the chair inviting Poppy to sit in the other chair. Poppy stayed standing and looked out the window over the dark grounds of the castle. Her arms wrapped tightly around her body and her body was stiff.

“Poppy” Minerva questioned. “What’s wrong?”

Minerva resisted the urge to get up and go to her. It was obvious the other woman did not want to be held right now. Poppy couldn’t even look at Minerva. A pit was forming in Minerva’s stomach as she tried to figure out what could be causing Poppy so much pain. 

“I can’t do this anymore” Poppy’s voice was almost a whisper.

Minerva was confused; she stood up and took a step towards Poppy and stopped. “What can’t you do anymore?”

Poppy still stared out the window tightening her grip on herself. “I can’t keep our relationship a secret anymore. It’s too hard for me Minerva.” 

Minerva put her hand on Poppy’s arm but she pulled away gently. “We’ve talked about this before Poppy. I don’t want everyone to know. Why can’t we just be happy with each other?”

Poppy finally turned and looked at Minerva. Looking at her closer Minerva could see the pain Poppy was in. Her eyes were red and puffy, she had obviously been crying a great deal. There were bags under her eyes that Minerva hadn’t noticed before. She mustn't be sleeping and looking closer she noticed Poppy had lost weight. It broke Minerva’s heart.

“I understood at first” Poppy’s voice broke. “You-Know-Who was in power and you were involved with the Order and it was safer if people didn’t know about me. You were trying to keep me safe and I loved you for that.” She took a deep breath trying to regain some control of her emotions. “Now I don’t understand why you still want to keep us a secret. Why does it have to be a secret from the people we care about?”

Minerva turned away and paced across the room. She mimicked Poppy’s stance wrapping her arms around her body. She turned back and looked at Poppy.

“He’ll be back Poppy. Albus doesn’t think he is really gone. There are still so many threats out there. There are still so many of his followers who have not been caught. You could still be hurt for being with me. Here you are safe.”

“I can’t live like this anymore. I won’t live in fear and I won’t live in secret. I’m sorry Minerva!” Poppy walked towards the door. Minerva grabbed her arm.

“Don’t leave me,” Minerva pleaded.

Poppy pulled her arm from Minerva’s grip and walked out the door shutting it gently behind her. Her steely exterior only lasted until she was out of Minerva’s office and classroom. Once she was in the hallway Poppy slipped down the nearest wall to the floor and let her head fall into her hands. 

In her chambers Minerva let herself slip to the floor and on hands and knees she sobbed. Her body felt heavy and her heart hurt. She felt like she couldn’t breathe. Her tears poured down her face onto the carpet.

In the hallway Nearly Headless Nick came around the corner to see Madam Pomfrey crying on the floor. Thinking it was best to leave her be he drifted into Professor McGonagall’s chambers to let her know that Poppy could use some support. Finding Minerva crying on the floor of her chambers he began to suspect he would need to alert someone else. He drifted away to the Headmaster’s chambers to alert Albus Dumbledore.

“Sir, I apologize for this interruption but I believe two of the staff could use your assistance” Nearly Headless Nick announced upon finding Albus working at his desk in his office.

“Who requires help, Sir Nicholas” Dumbledore asked, standing calmly.

“Madam Pomfrey is crying on the floor outside of the Transfiguration classroom and Professor McGonagall is crying on the floor of her chambers.”

Nearly Headless Nick didn’t need to say anything more for Albus to head out his office door. He went to Poppy first gently kneeling down next to her. He put one hand gently on her shoulder and she looked up at him.

“Let me walk you back to your chambers Madam Pomfrey” Albus said offering his hand to help her up. 

They stood together but Poppy’s legs didn’t want to hold her weight. Albus placed an arm around her waist and pulled her close to his body. She didn’t fight him but instead tucked her head against his chest. She stumbled along allowing herself to be guided without looking. Albus knew she wouldn’t want to talk so they walked in silence. Once in her quarters he sat her in one of her chairs and started a fire in the fireplace with a flick of his wand.

“Do you want me to ask someone to come sit with you” Albus asked gently.

Poppy only shook her head and respecting her wishes left her chambers and headed to Minerva’s chambers. He didn’t knock on her door, he just gently opened it. He wasn’t sure what he was going to walk into as all Sir Nicholas had said was that she was crying on the floor. That was exactly where he found her. She was kneeling on the ground and her forehead rested against the back of her hands that were on the floor. She almost looked like she was praying but the shaking of her shoulders told him she was crying. 

He closed the door quietly and walked to Minerva’s side. Without a word he bent over and grabbed Minerva under her arms and pulled her easily to a standing position. This wasn’t the first time he had done this for Minerva. Many years ago there had been a night much like this. Following suit he shifted Minerva so that he could place his arm under her knees and pick her up. She didn’t fight him but wrapped her arms around his neck and tucked her face into his chest. He carried her delicately into her bedroom. He laid her on her bed and crawled up next to her. She curled herself up with her head buried in his chest and he wrapped his arms around her tightly. He held her until she cried herself to sleep never asking her what had happened. If she wanted him to know she would tell him eventually, but he knew.

\-----------------------------------------------

June 1982

After four months Minerva still struggled to look at Poppy without the sinking feeling in her stomach returning. This made meal times particularly difficult though they had both managed to keep focused on their work for the most part. Minerva noticed the extra time Poppy seemed to spend in the Hospital Wing and Minerva in turn focused more on her work. 

When Elphinstone Urquart owled saying he wanted to see her she invited him to Hogwarts. She thought a visit from her old boss and friend would be a good distraction to pull her out of this heartbreak. She looked forward to his visit a great deal.

They ate a picnic by the lake and talked for a long time about what Elphinstone was doing and how the school year was wrapping up for Minerva. She confided in him that she had been dating someone and that they had broken up quite suddenly. He didn’t ask many questions and she didn’t give him any information about who the person was. After a while they vanished the picnic and took a stroll around the lake. 

As they got to the other side of the lake farthest away from the castle Elphinstone stopped Minerva. He grabbed both her hands and looked at her earnestly. She knew what he was doing as this was not the first time this had happened. 

“Minerva, we’ve known each other for years. I’ve loved you since I’ve known you. Do you think you could find enough love for me to become my wife” Elphinstone asked gently.

Every time he had asked her before she had said no without any hesitation. She didn’t really love Elphinstone in the way she had loved Dougal McGregor or the way she loved Poppy. This time though she could see how much he loved her and that he was okay with the fact that she didn’t love him the same amount. He could offer her companionship and some happiness. He was already accustomed, through his job at the Ministry, to being in danger so she didn’t feel the same need to protect him from the dangers that she had put herself in. 

“Yes” Minerva answered as she leaned forward and placed a timid kiss on Elphinstone’s lips.

\---------------------------------------------

They married quickly and relatively quietly. She didn't want to waste any time and risk changing her mind. Their wedding was attended by Pomona Sprout, Albus and a few members from the Order and Minerva’s family. Elphinstone invited a few people from the Ministry who had worked with both of them. It was quiet and just what Minerva wanted.

After they were wed Elphinstone who had already retired from the Ministry bought them a cottage in Hogsmeade. This made Minerva happy because it meant that other than when she was teaching she didn’t have to be stuck in Hogwarts where so many things reminded her of what she had with Poppy. 

At first her marriage to Elphinstone was a way to forget Poppy and get away from the pain she was feeling. However, soon she discovered she was happy living with Elphinstone. He was a calm and loving person. He didn’t push Minerva more than she was ready and they spent a great deal of time getting comfortable with each other. She began to truly enjoy his companionship and after a few months they were a true married couple in every sense of the word. She felt peace for the first time in many years.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Minerva and Elphinstone visit the greenhouses.

September 1985

Minerva rolled over in bed and wrapped her arms around Elphinstone. It was Sunday morning and they had nothing rushing them out of bed. A smile crept across Minerva’s lips as she opened her eyes to see Elphinstone looking back at her. These were the mornings she had missed since the new term had started. These were the mornings that were usually reserved for the summer when the school wasn’t beckoning her with one problem or another. 

“Good Morning Dear” Elphinstone whispered, placing a delicate kiss on Minerva’s forehead.

Minerva tilted her head up and gave him a passionate kiss on the lips. Elphinstone wrapped his arms around her and pulled her tighter into him. They pulled back to catch their breath, but before Minerva could catch her breath Elphinstone returned the kiss slipping his tongue into her mouth. She let out a moan as he grabbed her bottom under the covers.

“Good Morning indeed” Minerva gasped as she pulled away from the kiss to breathe.

In one swift motion Elphinstone flipped Minerva onto her back and laid down gently on top of her. His weight felt amazing on top of her. At the feeling of his hardness against her thighs she felt the wetness seep between her legs. She gasped as Elphinstone peppered kisses down her jaw and neck towards her chest.

He groped under the covers for the hem of Minerva’s nightgown and she arched her back to allow him to shimmy it up and over her head. She lay completely naked underneath him and realized she needed to feel him. She tugged his nightshirt off and then reached for his bottoms. He threw off the covers and pulled his bottoms off throwing them off the bed. When he dropped back on top of her, their skin touching, she moaned loudly and dug her nails into his back.

He kissed her chest down over one breast and pulled a nipple into his mouth. Her breath came faster as she arched her body into his. Her core throbbed in anticipation of him. She cried out as he left one nipple for the other. She ran a hand through his silver hair and moaned. 

“I...I need you” she gasped.

Elphinstone didn’t hesitate he released her nipple and lifted his body up so he could angle himself into her. With a deep thrust he was in her and she cried out. He thrust slowly at first making sure that she was wet enough to accommodate him. She met his thrusts with her hips and he leaned over and kissed her passionately.

“Faster” Minerva cried “Please”

Elphinstone obliged and pumped faster into Minerva. She slipped one hand down between them and gently rubbed her clit. She felt as the warmth radiated through her whole body. She could feel herself edging closer to orgasm. “Oh...Oh…” Minerva began to pant.

Elphinstone knew she was close and he pumped harder and faster until her entire body spasmed and her body arched up as she gasped a strangled scream. He felt the tightness of her walls closing onto him and he came. He collapsed down on top of her as they both gasped for air. She found his mouth and kissed him hard and sloppy. 

“Good Morning” he whispered in her ear and they both laughed.

\-------------------------------------

Elphinstone looked over The Daily Prophet at Minerva washing the dishes at the sink. He smiled at the way she looked in the dress she wore under her robes. He was taken aback at just how beautiful she was.

“I told Pomona that we would go down to the greenhouses today and look at the new species she got in,” Elphinstone announced before returning to his paper.

Without turning from the dishes Minerva smiled. She thought when they first got married that it would be hard for Elphinstone to be retired and be stuck here in Hogsmeade. However, he had proved her wrong by becoming part of the Hogwarts family. He could often be found out on the grounds with Hagrid or in the greenhouse with Pomona. She even caught him out on the Quidditch pitch flying around passing a Quaffle with Rolanda. It made her happy to see him fit in so well with the people in her life.

“What time did you tell her we would be up there” she asked.

“I said I would owl her before we headed up,” Elphinstone replied, folding the Daily Prophet and setting it on the table. 

“Well I’m almost finished” Minerva responded. “Why don’t you owl her and tell her we are on the way.”

Elphinstone went into the other room and wrote a quick note to Pomona and attached it to the leg of his owl Melon. Melon flew out the window and up to the castle. When Elphinstone returned to the kitchen Minerva was wiping her hands on a dish towel.

“Ready” he asked.

“I just have to put my robes on and then we can go,” Minerva answered, heading back into their bedroom to grab her regular emerald robes.

Arm in arm they walked through Hogsmeade up the path to Hogwarts. The weather was beginning to cool down as autumn began to creep in. They both enjoyed quiet conversation as they made their way to the greenhouses. As they approached they could see Pomona’s stout form waving at them from in front of Greenhouse three. They headed over to her and greeted her happily.

“I’m so glad you two agreed to come up” Pomona gushed. “I’ve got a few new plants that I thought you would enjoy seeing and I know how you like to know all the plants I keep around the greenhouses Minerva.”

They entered the large greenhouse overrun with plants of all varieties. Minerva who was rather cautious around some of the more sentient plants kept squarely to the middle of the path behind Pomona. On the table sat several large pots of a beautiful flowering plant that Minerva wasn’t sure she had ever seen before.

“What’s this one Pomona” Minerva asked.

“Oh that’s one of the new ones” Pomona replied, petting one of the flowers with her finger. “It’s called Wolfsbane. There is a new potion people are talking about that uses them. It helps to allow Werewolves to transform and maintain their mind in their wolf form.”

“Why ever would you need something like that at the school” Elphinstone asked.

Pomona looked at Minerva anxiously. Minerva had never told Elphinstone about Remus Lupin being a werewolf. Albus had agreed to keep it to a need to know basis and Minerva didn’t feel that Elphinstone needed to know. It wasn’t like she thought he would do anything, but too many years in Magical Law Enforcement probably left him with a bad feeling about werewolves. 

“It’s good to allow the students to learn about new developments in the magical community” Minerva explained. “Even if we never have to use it at least the students will have the opportunity to learn it.”

Elphinstone didn’t seem to question Minerva’s bending of the truth. She gave Pomona a look that urged her to move on and she did. 

“Over here is what I really wanted to show you. I’ve got to keep it in the back, it doesn’t much like the light.” Pomona guided them through the greenhouse to the back corner where there stood a large crate that was covered with a cloth of some sort.

“A plant that doesn’t like light” Elphinstone chuckled. “That’s quite unusual isn’t it?”

Pomona lifted the cloth and opened the side of the crate. A snake like plant laid inside and at the opening of the crate it began to snake tendrils out towards them. Pomona grabbed the jar on the table to her left and whispered a spell filling the jar with a bright blue flame. She held the jar out to the tendrils that were sneaking out towards the curious trio. The plant retracted back into the crate away from the flame.

“Devil’s Snare” Minerva whispered.

“Marvelous” Elphinstone gasped.

Pomona closed the crate and placed the cloth back over top before extinguishing the flame in the jar.

“I was quite happy to find that one” Pomona gushed. “Quite tricky to find in the wild, you know. Now could I persuade you two to join me for tea?”

Minerva slipped an arm around Elphinsotne’s waist and leaned gently against him.

“Oh, no I’ve interrupted your Sunday haven’t I” Pomona sputtered blushing.

“No, it’s fine Pomona I’m glad to…” Minerva began.

“No, I should have thought. You don’t get many days away from the school. This could have waited until tomorrow.” Pomona shook her head.

While Minerva and Elphinstone tried to dissuade Pomona from beating herself up. Their heightened awareness of the plants around them slipped as they both concentrated on Pomona. The Venomous Tentacula slowly slithered towards Minerva. It began to reach its tendril around Minerva’s waist. It brushed the arm that Elphinstone had around Minerva’s waist and he looked down to see what it was. Immediately he recognized it.

“Minerva watch out” he shouted pulling her across his body out of the way of the vine. As Minerva was thrown out of its grasp the tendril wrapped around Elphinstone and pulled him into the body of the plant where the Venomous Tentacula bit him on the neck.

“Diffindo” Pomona shouted and the plant froze. Elphinstone fell to the ground and Minerva dropped on her knees next to him.

“Get Poppy” Minerva instructed Pomona.

“She’s not here” Pomona stammered.

“Darling, just hold on” Minerva whispered into Elphinstone’s ear.

“What do you mean she’s not here” Minerva cried.

“She’s at St. Mungo's” Pomona replied. “She got…” Pomona was interrupted by Minerva standing and grabbing her wand.

“Where’s the nearest fireplace linked to the Floo network” Minerva demanded.

“My rooms” Pomona sputtered.

Minerva pulled out her wand and pointed it at Elphinstone and tried to levitate him, but her hand was shaking. She couldn’t concentrate enough to perfect her magic.

“Help me” Minerva shouted.

Elphinstone was slowly turning a pale blue color as dark green lines spread from the bite mark on his neck. Pomona pointed her wand and announced “Wingardium Leviosa” and gently lifted the man a few feet off the ground and Pomona quickly led the way to her rooms behind Greenhouse two.

“Quickly” Minerva hissed.

Once in Pomona’s room she lowered Elphinstone in front of the fire. His eyes were closed and his chest barely rose as he periodically took a shallow breath. Pomona ran and grabbed a jar of Floo powder of the mantle. Pomona helped Minerva pull Ephinstone into the fireplace and offered the jar for Minerva to grab a pinch of Floo powder. “St. Mungo’s” Minerva yelled as she threw the powder into the fireplace and the flames roared green and the couple disappeared into the network.

Minerva held tight to Elphinstone’s body. The weight of his lifeless body ever threatening to slip from her grip. At St. Mungo’s they tumbled out onto the floor. Elphinstone landed on top of her trapping her against the ground as she was too weak to push his large body off.

“Help” Minerva screamed. “Please someone help me.”

People came running from everywhere scooping Elphinstone up and tearing away down the hall with him. “Are you hurt” a mediwitch asked Minerva. When Minerva shook her head the mediwitch took off after the rest. When Pomona stepped out of the fireplace Minerva was still sitting on the floor covered in soot. Pomona knelt next to her and wrapped Minerva in her arms.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Grief does horrible things when it's bottled up.

September 1985

Albus looked up from his paperwork when a tapping sound on the window alerted him to an owl waiting to deliver a letter. He rose and went to open the window. The owl flew in and patiently held out it’s leg with a small note attached. He untied it and the owl happily flew back out the window. He unfurled the note.

Albus,

Please come...It’s Minerva

Rosmerta 

Albus disapparated without a second thought. He appeared outside of The Three Broomsticks and pushed the door open. The tavern was closed and the only light in the room was the fire in the large fireplace and a couple lamps behind the bar. In the back corner Rosmerta was sitting in a booth with what appeared to be a large bundle of black robes across her body. The table in front of her was filled with several empty glasses.

Rosmerta’s signature turquoise heels were on the floor a few feet from the table and her hair had fallen out of the clip she normally had it in. As Albus approached the table the large bundle of black robes slowly turned into the unconscious form of Minerva McGonagall. Rosemerta opened her eyes as she heard Albus approaching.

“She’s finally passed out,” Rosmerta said with a sigh.

Minerva was leaned over against Rosmerta with her face buried in Rosmerta’s arm. Her body rose and fell as she breathed steadily and a tiny snore slipped out every few breaths.

“What happened” Albus asked, gesturing to offer to pull Minerva off of Rosmerta. Rosmerta shook her head.

“She came in after the funeral and asked for a firewhiskey” Rosmerta began. “Who was I to tell her no on the day of her husband's funeral.”

Minerva shifted and took a deep breath. Rosmerta flinched worried that she might be waking back up. She pulled her arm not holding Minerva’s face out from underneath her body and gently rubbed her back. 

“She kept asking for more and when I said no after her fifth glass she got another customer to order her two more before I caught on to what was happening. By that time most everyone had left she had seven firewhiskeys and was pretty much plastered. She was slurring her words and began to throw a fit about my not giving her anymore firewhiskey. I threw out the last few customers and closed early. There was a lot of yelling and she even pulled out her wand. At that point there was nothing I could do. She took the bottle back to her table and drank another four or so glasses worth straight from the bottle. I took her wand when she wasn’t looking and then sent you the owl. When she realized her wand was gone she got mad and started attacking me. Luckily she was so drunk at this point I just grabbed her and held her here until she fell asleep.”

Rosmerta sighed deeply and stroked Minerva’s back slowly. Albus slipped into the seat across from the two women and sighed. 

“She hasn’t cried,” Albus said quietly.

Rosmerta looked down at Minerva and felt tears form in her own eyes which she blinked away quickly. “She’ll have to eventually or it will kill her” Rosmerta responded.

Albus stood and positioned himself next to Minerva. “I’d better get her back to her house.”

Rosmerta helped sit Minerva up gently holding her head so that it didn’t bob around too much. Albus leaned over and put one arm behind Minerva’s back and under her arm and his other arm under her knees. With a little push from Rosmerta he was able to stand up holding Minerva in his arms. He walked to the door and Rosmerta stood to run ahead and open the door.

“Do you want me to come with” Rosmerta asked.

“You’ve already done so much. I’ll get her home” Albus smiled encouragingly and left the buxom woman standing in the doorway.

\-----------------------------------------------

Minerva opened her eyes and looked around the dark room. She wasn’t sure how but she was pretty sure she was in her bed in her house. Her head felt like she was floating and her stomach felt queasy. 

“You’re awake,” Albus said from a chair across the room.

Minerva jumped at the sound before she located where the voice was coming from. She looked at Albus tucked uncomfortably in the small chair. Things began to creep back into her memory. Elphinstone was dead, she had buried him today. She had been at the Three Broomsticks, she had drunk a lot. She had drawn her wand on Rosmerta. She grabbed her head and groaned.

“Would you like me to get you something” Albus asked quietly.

“I can’t stay here,” Minerva choked. “Please Albus, can I move back into the castle?”

“Of course” Albus replied.

\-------------------------------------------

October 1985

Several weeks had gone by and Minerva had moved back into the castle. She had actually packed up everything the morning after her drunken escapade and moved into the castle the same day. She couldn’t bear to stay one more day in the house Elphinstone had bought for her. She had dove straight into work and done nothing since. She didn’t talk during meals in the Great Hall and took any opportunity she could to eat her meals alone in her office or her chambers. She talked to no one but Albus and she didn’t even talk to him that often. 

She couldn’t look at Poppy and seeing Pomona only caused her to remember the moments when Elphinstone had been attacked. Pomona had tried to talk to her but realized quickly that Minerva was not willing to talk to her.

On this morning Minerva had abruptly left the breakfast table after Pomona had sat down next to her. It wasn’t like Pomona had done it on purpose it was just that it was the only chair left at the staff table. Albus watched her walk away and then saw Pomona rise without eating and almost run out of the hall. Two professors abruptly leaving the table during a meal caught the attention of many of the students and the noise in the hall dropped.

Albus waited for the students to lose interest before he got up from the table and slipped out of the hall and went out across the grounds towards the greenhouses. Pomona was sitting on a bench outside of greenhouse three with her face in her hands. Her shoulders were hunched over and she shook with what Albus assumed was sobs and the cold. He sat down quietly next to her and placed one hand gently on her shoulder.

Pomona sat up wiping at her face. She knew it was Albus before she even looked at him. Only he could walk so quietly and bring such an enormous feeling of calm. “She’s my best friend” Pomona choked out. “She’s my best friend and she can’t even sit next to me.”

“There, there” Albus muttered encouragingly. “She’s not letting herself grieve and that means she is living in that day over and over again without knowing it.”

Pomona took a few deep breaths and wiped her face with her sleeve. Albus pulled a handkerchief from his pocket and handed it to her. She wiped the rest of her face of tears and handed it back to him. He vanished it and smiled at her kindly.

“I think she blames me for Elphinstone...for him dying” Pomona stammered.

“I don’t…” Albus began.

“I blame myself for his death,” Pomona whispered. “They wouldn’t have been there if I hadn’t invited them.”

Albus placed his hand gently on Pomona’s that were folded in her lap. “You mustn't blame yourself. It was not your fault that Elphinstone got bit. They were both there of their own free will and he chose to step between Minerva and danger. You know he wouldn’t have wanted it any other way. Protecting Minerva.”

“Someone has to help her Albus” Pomona proclaimed. “She can’t go on like this. It will eat away at her until she isn’t the woman we all know and love anymore.”

Albus nodded and patted Pomona’s hand gently. “I’ve tried Pomona, everybody’s tried,” Albus sighed.

“Not everybody” Pomona looked up at Albus knowingly. They sat in companionable silence enjoying the company of another person who was just as concerned as the other for their mutual friend. 

\---------------------------------------

Albus walked into the Hospital Wing and looked around for Poppy. There were no students in the ward so he went back towards Poppy’s office. She was coming out of her chambers as Albus walked into her office. She stopped and looked at him confused.

“Poppy, I'm sorry to bother you,” Albus said, closing the office door behind him.

Poppy fidgeted with her nurse's apron and looked at Albus waiting for him to say what he came to say.

“Minerva needs you,” Albus announced.

Poppy face turned to stone. Her lips grew thin and tight. Albus had never seen Poppy like this before. 

“Minerva doesn’t need anything from me” Poppy snipped. “She’s made that clear.”

Poppy tried to walk past Albus to leave the office but he didn’t move out of her way. He knew she didn’t like talking about Minerva. She could feel anger warming her skin. She felt her face flushing red.

“Let me pass Albus” Poppy growled.

“She won’t talk to anyone and she’s not letting herself grieve” Albus explained. “It’s going to eat her alive.”

Poppy closed her eyes tightly. “I’ll think about it.” She turned her back on Albus and he left the office without another word. Poppy swiped in anger at a bottle on her desk throwing it across the room where it smashed against the wall. She felt foolish as soon as the pieces scattered the floor. She wasn’t one to lose her temper. That was Minerva’s department.

\----------------------------------------

For reasons beyond her comprehension Poppy stood in Minerva’s classroom outside her office door. She raised her hand to knock and hesitated. What was she doing? She dropped her hand and took a deep breath. She reached up again and knocked on the door. She’d never knocked on Minerva’s office door before. It felt strange to be so uncomfortable doing something that even students do on a regular basis. She almost turned and walked away then the door opened. 

Seeing who was standing at her office door Minerva tried to shut it again. Poppy put her hand up and stopped the door from closing. Minerva tried to push harder but Poppy pushed back just as hard. 

“Leave me alone Poppy” Minerva snipped, avoiding looking at Poppy’s face.

“I can’t do that Minerva,” Poppy replied calmly.

Minerva tried to push harder to close the door and Poppy stepped closer and pushed the door open. Minerva stumbled back and turned and walked to her chambers. Poppy followed her and as Minerva tried to escape through the door Poppy followed her. They stood together in Minerva’s sitting room and Poppy closed the door behind them.

“People are worried about you,” Poppy announced.

“Why do you care” Minerva snipped.

Poppy bit her tongue and turned her back to Minerva for a minute. She took a deep breath and tried to keep from yelling at her. She turned back slowly. “You have to let yourself grieve for Elphinstone” she croaked out.

Minerva’s lips were white they were pressed so tightly together in anger. Her green eyes flamed with anger. “How dare you say his name” she screamed.

“Why are you angry with me” Poppy asked, confused.

“He shouldn’t have died” Minerva shouted.

Poppy was confused with Minerva’s reaction. She knew Minerva had been struggling but she couldn’t understand why Minerva was mad at her. She had done nothing but support Minerva while she was married to Elphinstone. She had actually liked him the few times they had been together. “No, he shouldn’t have died. It was a horrible accident” Poppy responded sympathetically. 

“If you had been here...but no you weren’t here...of course you weren’t here” Minerva sputtered pacing the small room frantically.

“What are you talking about” Poppy shouted.

“If you’d been there Elphinstone wouldn’t have died” Minerva shouted back, turning on Poppy.

“You blame me” Poppy choked out. Poppy wrapped her arms around her middle to control the shaking that was threatening to take over her body. She was so mad and sad at the same time.

“I couldn’t have saved him” Poppy stammered. “There was too much poison in his system. He was dead before you left the grounds.”

“You can’t know that. You can’t know what would have been different if you’d actually been there to help him” Minerva snipped back.

Poppy turned away from Minerva and walked to the door. She leaned her forehead against the door and took a deep breath. “Did you ever wonder why I was at St. Mungo’s and not here” Poppy asked quietly.

Minerva didn’t answer. She hadn’t thought about why Poppy hadn’t been at the castle that day. She didn’t know why Poppy had been at St. Mungo’s and she had never thought to ask. She hesitated for a second and some of her anger left her. 

Poppy turned around at the silence and looked at Minerva. “I wasn’t there as a mediwitch, I was there as a patient. I didn’t choose to not be at the castle that day Minerva. I wish I had been, but it wouldn’t have changed anything” Poppy explained quietly. 

“A patient” Minerva questioned.

“It was nothing serious” Poppy comforted, suddenly aware that Minerva was breathing funny. “Two fifth years decided to try and duel in the corridor. When I heard the noise I came out to see what was going on. A spell rebounded off one of their shield charms and it hit me. It knocked me pretty good and when I didn’t regain consciousness Albus sent me to St. Mungo’s.”

Minerva dropped down into the armchair next to her. Her breath came in short fast spurts and she blinked her eyes rapidly. Her eyes were wide with fear as they locked with Poppy’s. The color was slowly draining from her face leaving her sickeningly pale. 

“It’s okay Minerva” Poppy pushed. “It was so long ago. I was barely hurt.” Minerva’s continued to gasp in and out quickly.

Poppy dropped to her knees in front of Minerva. “You have to take deep breaths'' she commanded. When there was no change Poppy grabbed Minerva’s hands in hers. “Minerva, you have to breathe slower. Come on try to breathe with me.”

Minerva tried to slow her breathing down while Poppy repeated “in” and “out” as she took deep slow breaths. Slowly she could feel the panic leaving her body, then the anger. All that she could feel was the pain. Her breath suddenly caught in her throat and tears welled in her eyes. She could feel the sob that was choking her and she brought a hand up to cover her open mouth. 

Poppy looked at her horror stricken. Minerva wasn’t breathing. She began vigorously rubbing Minerva’s back. “Breathe” Poppy commanded. “You have to breathe. Take a breath now.” After what felt like hours Minerva drew in a deep jagged breath and began to sob. Giant tears rolled down her cheeks as her whole body shook.

“Elphinstone is dead” she sobbed.

“Yes dear” Poppy said, wrapping her arms around Minerva as tight as she could. Minerva slipped off the chair and into Poppy’s lap who slipped off her knees onto her bottom with the added weight. Minerva clung to Poppy like she was the only thing keeping her afloat and Poppy held her right back. Minerva oscillated between deep horrible sobs and loud screams of pain. Through it all Poppy held her whispering calming things into her ear. It was heartbreaking to watch, but Poppy knew Minerva had to feel it all to be able to move on.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Minerva finds out about Harry living under the stairs

July 1991

Albus’s office door flew open and Minerva flew through the door her emerald robes billowing behind her. Her face was red with anger or exertion or both. She threw a letter on Albus’ desk and took a deep steadying breath.

“The Cupboard under the Stairs” Minerva screamed.

Albus calmly lifted the letter up off his desk and flipped it over to see what it said.

Mr. H. Potter  
The Cupboard under the Stairs  
4 Privet Drive  
Little Whinging  
Surrey

“Did you know” Minerva bellowed.

Albus stood up calmly and walked around the desk towards the screaming woman. When he got to close she backed away from him shaking in anger. She didn’t know if she wanted to curse him or punch him. His lack of response was all the answer she needed.

“You knew” Minerva screamed. “You knew that James and Lily’s son was being kept in a cupboard under the stairs.”

Albus reached out a hand to Minerva’s shoulder and she pulled back again. “Don’t you dare” Minerva snarled.

Minerva took a few steadying breaths while she paced back and forth. She avoided looking at Albus. 

“This isn’t right Albus,” Minerva pleaded. “He can’t stay with these people any longer.”

Albus sat down in an armchair and watched Minerva pace angrily back and forth across his office. He’d seen her temper before but this was a new high. 

“You know very well why he has to stay with his family” Albus responded calmly.

“Surely now that he’s old enough to be here at Hogwarts he could stay here year round. It has to be as safe here as with those Muggles” Minerva argued.

“There are things that even I do not know Minerva” Albus began. “What I do know is that living with a blood relative like his Aunt helps to protect Harry from people who wish to harm him. He is safer with them.”

Minerva slumped down into the other armchair next to Albus’. The anger left her as fast as it had come.

“There has to be something we can do,” Minerva pleaded.

“We are doing everything we can, both with keeping Harry safe and with protecting the stone” Albus encouraged.

Minerva stood without saying another word and walked out of Albus’ office. She walked without stopping to the Hospital Wing. Poppy was organizing her potions shelf with the potions Serverus had replenished for the new school year. Minerva walked to her and Poppy looked up at the sound of Minerva’s heels on the stone. Minerva wrapped her arms around Poppy and though startled Poppy hugged her back tightly.

Poppy waited for Minerva to loosen her grip, not wanting to be the first one to let go. Minerva didn’t let go for several minutes. They didn’t say anything to each other, they just held one another. It was Poppy who finally broke the silence.

“What’s wrong sweetheart” Poppy whispered in Minerva’s ear.

Minerva slowly let go and Poppy let her back away. “It’s nothing,” Minerva mumbled, giving Poppy a small smile.

“That didn’t seem like nothing,” Poppy smiled back.

“I’m worried,” Minerva sighed.

Poppy sat on the nearest bed and patted the sheets next to her. Minerva sat down next to her and put her hand on Poppy’s. “About what” Poppy asked.

“I...it’s complicated,” Minerva mumbled.

“I won’t let you do this again Minerva. I won’t let you keep things from me to protect me. I won’t let you go through this alone” Poppy said, gripping Minerva’s hand tight in her own.

“Albus thinks that You-Know-Who is coming back” Minerved whispered. “I’m worried for James and Lily’s son. I’m worried that we can’t protect him. I’m worried that Albus is keeping things from me. I’m worried I’ll lose you.”

Poppy stopped Minerva by kissing her gently on the lips. “No matter what is coming you won’t lose me” she whispered reassuringly. 

\-------------------------------------------------

Poppy had convinced Minerva that she needed to go and talk to Albus after she had blown up at him. She and Albus had known each other for so many years that she didn’t feel the need to talk about it. Surely after all these years Albus doesn’t need her to apologize. Poppy though believed that it was always best to talk about things when tempers flared. So here she was walking down the corridor towards Albus’ office.

“Lemon drop” Minerva announced to the gargoyle and it jumped aside revealing the spiral staircase to Albus’s office. She stepped on the rising stairs and began ascending. When the stairs deposited her outside of Albus’ office door she could hear voices inside. She walked to the door ready to knock when she began to understand what was being said. She hesitated and leaned in to listen.

“It were a great storm they was havin’” a loud voice boomed. Minerva recognized it as Hagrid’s. Hagrid didn’t often come up to this part of the castle. When Albus needed something from Hagrid she always thought he went down to him.

Minerva heard Albus say something but she couldn’t understand him through the door. She leaned closer and turned her head so that her ear was just off of the door.

“He looks a lot James, but he’s got Lily’s eyes” Hagrid explained.

Minerva felt herself get a little misty eyed and let her ear touch the door to hear more.

“He knew nothin’ abou’ anything. They’d told him James and Lily’d died in a car crash. A right shame how lil’ he knows” Hagrid grumbled.

The anger began to grow inside her again. She could feel her face flush and her fists clenched. She leaned back from the door and took a couple steps back and forth.

The door swung open and she stopped dead. “You might as well come in now Professor McGonagall” Albus called from the office.

Minerva felt like a schoolgirl caught eavesdropping. She had a small urge to run back down the stairs and go and hide somewhere. Another part of her wanted to go in and scream at Albus all over again about how he was handling Harry’s protection. She stood frozen to the ground for longer than was probably acceptable. “Minerva” Albus called again.

Her legs walked her into the office without her really meaning to. Albus was sitting behind the desk and Hagrid was sitting in an armchair that had clearly been enlarged to fit his large stature. Hagrid had a confused look watching her walk into the room. Albus was staring at her over his half moon spectacles.

When neither Minerva or Albus said anything Hagrid stood up abruptly. “I’ll be headin’ home Headmaster” Hagrid boomed and turned nearly toppling the chair getting out of the door. With a flick of his wand Albus closed the door and shrunk and righted the armchair that Hangrid had vacated.

“I can see you have something to say” Albus announced gesturing for her to sit in the newly shrunken arm chair.

“Is that really what you wanted when we left him at their door” Minerva asked, sitting down.

“I had hoped that Petunia would be more forthcoming about information to do with our world” Albus explained. “I knew she had bad feelings about the Magical world, but I believed she would try and do what was right for Harry.”

“You think this was right” Minerva questioned. “For him to know nothing of the world he belongs in and the people his parents were.” 

“It’s done now Minerva. There is nothing to be gained by wondering if things could have been done differently” Albus explained calmly.

“Things should have been done differently, ” Minerva said softly.

“Minerva…” Albus began but Minerva stood from her chair.

“You’ve never steered me wrong before Albus, but this was wrong. It feels wrong to me” Minerva gasped. “I’ll do whatever you think is best.” She turned and walked out of the office.

It was true she would do whatever Albus thought was right. She had been following his wishes since she met him at eleven years old. He had protected her and she had him for forty-five years. Now wasn’t the time to start questioning his decisions. Not if he was right about You-Know-Who returning. Deep down in heart something didn’t feel right about allowing James and Lily’s son to grow up so differently then they would have wanted.

\-----------------------------------------

Minerva went back to her chambers after she left Albus’ office. She could have gone and found Poppy but she needed to be alone for awhile. It wasn’t always as easy as people believed to be friends with the great Albus Dumbledore. Sometimes it took more strength to follow Dumbledore than it probably would to follow her own wishes.

She went to the bookcase next to the fireplace and used her wand to open a locked compartment on the middle shelf. From the compartment she withdrew a moderate sized album. The black leather was worn and the pages barely held their binding. She took the album and sat down in one of her arm chairs. She opened the album careful to not allow the loose pages fall out as she flipped through. She flipped past pictures of her family who smiled and waved at her as she turned the pages. She hesitated over a picture of Poppy and herself from sometime in the 70's. They stood together in front of the lake and Poppy had her arm wrapped around Minerva’s waist. The two tiny figures laughed with each other looking at the person taking the picture.

Tempted to stare at the much younger versions of herself and Poppy she flipped the page. A few pages later she found the picture she was looking for. It was a photo of her office with four boys standing in the middle of it. The whole office and everything in it had been charmed to be a deep Gryffindor red. The young boys, the culprits of this prank, stood laughing in the middle of the picture. James Potter stood with his arm around Peter Pettigrew’s shoulders as he tried to duck out of the picture. Lupin was laughing and covering his face and Sirius crouched behind the three of them on her desk with arms pulling them all together. As the picture moved the boys laughed and pushed and pulled at each other. James was the only one looking straight at the person taking the picture. 

Below the picture on the page was the note that had come attached when she found it in her office a couple years after the red office incident.

_Professor McGonagall,_

_You were always their favorite. I promise to share James with you._

_Lily Evans_

Minerva’s eyes welled up and she flipped the page. The next page held a picture from James and Lily’s wedding. James stood in the middle between Lily and herself. He had his arm around both of their waists and when the photographer had gone to take the picture James had turned and kissed Minerva on the cheek. She had blushed and Lily had laughed. Another note was attached to this picture.

_Minerva,_

_I told you I would share._

_Lily_

_P.S. Soon they’ll be another man for me to share with you._

The next page was a photo of Minerva sitting in an armchair with a small bundle in her arms. She looked adoringly at the small baby while James sat on the arm of the chair looking down at them and then at the person taking the photograph smiling. There was a note on this picture also.

_Minerva, ___

____

_I’m so happy I get to share my boys with you._

__

_Love,_  
_Lily_

__

That was the last picture she had of James and that was the last time she had seen Harry before the night after his parents died. It wasn’t the last note from Lily though. She flipped the page and read the last letter she had from Lily.

__

_Minerva,_

__

_Things are getting serious. I’m scared of what is going to happen to all of us. Dumbledore says we have to go into hiding to keep ourselves and Harry safe._

__

_If anything happens to us we made Sirius Harry’s godfather. Please keep an eye on them. Don’t let Sirius teach him to be too much of a troublemaker._

__

_Keep yourself safe please Minerva. I hope soon we will be able to see each other again._

__

_Love,_  
_Lily_

__

_P.S. - James says you better stay safe as he doesn’t want to lose either of his best girls._

__

Minerva closed the album and swiped at the tears on her cheeks. She had failed James and Lily. Lily had trusted her to watch out for Harry if anything had happened to them. That was what hurt the most about allowing Albus to do what he thought was right. She knew in some part of her heart that she couldn’t have protected Harry, but it still hurt to know that the one person who could protect him didn’t care about him.

__

She rubbed her hand gently over the leather of the album. Poppy had made the album for her for Christmas the year that James and Lily had died and the war had ended. There was an envelope in the same compartment that the album was kept in. It had all of the photos and letters that Poppy thought would make Minerva too upset to include. Minerva always wondered why she had included the few pages of Lily’s photos and notes if she didn’t want to upset her.

__


End file.
